Author: dilipmerala

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I have learnt…

I am beginning to think that what has happened to me in the last few years is what happens to every aspiring actor. He starts on a low note from scratch, then thinks he is at the peak of his struggle, begins to get a few leads.. and then due to some crappy reasons hits a low again!! I have been dealing with this low for quite some time now..and while it had almost put an halt to my struggle, it has taught me a lot about people, about situations, and about myself!!

I have learnt never ever to trust anybody more than myself. I have learnt never to run after things or people who do not value me as much as I value them.. because by doing so I am only creating problems and awkwardness for both them as well as myself. I am just being a prick! I have learnt that no matter what people might say to me on my face, they are going to be truly loyal to ones they have chosen to be close to.. and I am not necessarily going to be one of them!! I have learnt that honesty no longer holds the same value that it used to when we were kids studying in school and were being taught that we should always speak the truth. Even the nicest people I know have lied their asses off without even a hint of shame for having done so!! I have learnt how I’ve become this person who can very easily be taken for granted..not because the world is mean..not because people want to take advantage of me.. but because I am always willing to give people the advantage!! I have learnt that I use too many exclamation marks in my posts!! 😛 But above all – I have learnt never to lose focus from my career due to the so called “personal” problems! It is just an excuse really – an excuse that several aspiring actors claim to have ruined their careers.. The reason many talented actors shy away from a path that would have otherwise led them to great destinations. I do not want to repeat their mistake!

I must learn to let go of things that are not working in my favour because may be that’s how things are destined to be. There is no point cribbing about how the world has become.. or how I have become. People around me are never the problem.. they all do what is important and feels right to them.  We all live lives of our choice and there is no point expecting others to behave the way we hope they should. The world will continue to be how it is.. and there is no shock or surprise in that. The question is whether I want to continue to be the way I am.. or am I so fed up of things that I change myself to become like the rest of the world?!?

And the reason I am posting all this here is.. I feel everything that I have learnt in this while has added on to my experiences in life.. experiences that are extremely important for an actor to go through.  I used to  think that I have done nothing constructive since The Dirty Picture.. but actually.. I realize I have. Because I HAVE LEARNT! 🙂

So I am back now.. again! This time I am not going to give a damn about the world…  or expect anything from anybody. Of course, it goes without saying that my family (especially my Dad!!) and my true “friends” will always be around in whatever capacity they can. But what’s going to matter is what I am going to do for myself from here on. I am off once again.. to get out of my shitty low… aiming towards a high… because I have realized that the only thing that is truly mine.. that is with me all the time through all ups and downs, highs and lows.. that loves me as much and as dearly as I love it.. is my dream!!

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Finally…my first pay cheque!!

I had shot for The Dirty Picture on the 5th of November, 2011. The film released on the 2nd of December. Since then, I had been following up with my casting director and with Balaji Films to get paid for the part. A month ago I was given Aditya’s number – the same AD Aditya who had helped me on the sets of TDP with my scene. Aditya gave me the Account-In-Charge’s cell number and asked me to get in touch with her. I called her several times before she asked me to come down on the 9th of April, 2012 and collect my cheque. I called once again on the 9th just to confirm whether I can come to get my cheque and she got pissed. She said – “Sir, when I told you to come on Monday and collect your cheque, it means you should come on Monday and collect your cheque”. I did not understand this sarcasm and attitude. I felt like telling her – “Lady, I called you 15 times before you gave me a date to come and get my cheque. I thought it made sense to just confirm before I come down all the way. It needs just a 2-second acknowledgment! The attitude is uncalled for!” However, I kept quiet as I thought every person has busy, tiring days and at such times, they end up being rude to those who are in need of them. It’s human!! J

I did go to the Balaji office on the 9th of April at 6 pm. I was asked to meet Piyush from accounts. They gave me a visitor’s card and asked me to go to the 6th floor. I went there and met Piyush who handed over my cheque to me – my first pay cheque for my first film! J I looked at the cheque once, then out it in my bag and left but not before saying a filmy line to Piyush – “This is my first pay cheque.. Always remember that you were the one who gave it to me!!” Piyush gave me a huge smile and I left with a smile too. I thought that when I do become a big star, Piyush will remember this day and so will I 😉

When I reached the main gate and was returning my visitor’s pass, I was reminded of something that I had completely forgotten about! About 8 years ago, when I first thought I want to become an actor, I left home one day to try and look for work. Balaji Telefilms was the talk of the town back then and its soaps were really at their peak!! I found out where the Balaji office is – Andheri West, Veera Desai Road, Near Fun Republic. I did not know how to get there as I used to live in Navi Mumbai and had nothing to do with this part of the city. I found out, took a train, then a bus and around 3.5 hours after I left home, I reached the Balaji office. I told the watchman that I am looking for some work in acting. He looked at me as if I am the most ridiculous species on the planet and asked me to go away. He even told me – “Tu pagal hai kya?? Acting line mein kyu ghusna hai tujhe?? Jaa ghar jaake padhai kar!!Kuch aur kaam dhoondh!” I told him that I am done with my HSC and will be pursuing Engineering but I want to act. He just did not listen to me and asked me to go away. I had no choice but to leave but I wanted to gather as much info as I could before I left. I saw that there was a number mentioned on the gate – Mr. Jeet – to be contacted for casting-related stuff. I noted down his number and left with a heavy heart.

Today, after 8 long years, life had taken a full circle. I was at the same gate from where I was shooed off.. and I was collecting my first film’s pay cheque!! Nostalgia.. and tears in my eyes yet again!! I got to my bike, looked back at the building and thanked Balaji Films  for the role it has played in my life!

I am now curious to see when and for what I’ll go to that building again… 😀

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My first silver screen appearance…

The 2nd of December, 2011… Perhaps the biggest day of my life!! I was eagerly waiting for The Dirty Picture to release and was really nervous with an array of thoughts screwing my brains – Will they show my scene or just delete it?? Well, they shot it at the last moment so I think they really needed it! How will I look? Will they keep both of my lines or just the short one? Will it be so short that no one will even notice me? What if they just show Naseerji even during my line?? These and many other thoughts were making my life difficult on Friday.

I was to go for an evening show after office with some of my friends. They could not make it so ended up going alone. As I entered the movie hall, I felt very anxious (as one would expect). I knew it was just a very small appearance.. but still I couldn’t stop thinking of the day as a BIG ONE! I took my seat and after the annoying Vicco turmeric ad, the movie began! I had absolutely no idea when my scene would come as I hadn’t read the script. I waited for an hour and tried to enjoy the film. Well, I really couldn’t. The audience kept giggling at the funny one liners Vidya was cracking but I was just waiting…and waiting…and waiting…till the moment finally came! I saw myself in one frame..my face was hidden with the camera that I hold as a photographer. My heart started beating faster. A couple of frames later, I saw myself again but still hidden by the camera…this must have been my fastest heart rate ever!! And that very moment, I saw myself on screen saying my little line –

“Sir.. Zara chipakke Sir!!”

My first ever line as an actor on the silver screen!! It was a close-up so my face was seen! 😀 😀 😀

At this point, I had a hundred things going on in my head – There I am… I look weird … Why didn’t they give me make-up… It’s not my voice… the dubbed voice SUCKS… But people are laughing at the line… Are they going to show my next long line too?? Ohh noooooooo, it’s gone!!

As I was thinking about all this, the scene went past the spot where we had shot. I understood .. That was it.. my 2 seconds of fame!! I felt emotional but did not cry. I felt like telling people “Hey.. that was MEEEEE!!!” I wanted to hug someone.. thought of hugging the guy sitting next to me but he was already hugging his girl 😛

For the next few minutes, I could not concentrate on the film. I just kept thinking about my film appearance. It was my first appearance on the big screen!! My first film ever!!! It was slowly sinking in – My parents, my friends, people who know me are all going to see this.. Even if I die the next day, people will see me in the Dirty Picture in the years to come!! Yes, it could have been better. Yes, they could have used my voice and added my longer line. Yes, they could have given me Emraan Hashmi’s role!!! 😉 But that’s okay! It wasn’t the end… It was just the beginning!!!

I wonder why I did not cry. I think I know the answer. It’s because I knew that this is nothing compared to what I really want to do..  where I really want to get! It is just a start… A start that has given me a big boost! I know there is no looking back now. I know nothing can stop me. I know there is no other way. I know that I am either going to become a hugely successful actor or die trying to become one!!!

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The Dirty Picture – My first film

Before you guys get too excited, let me just tell you that it’s a 2-second cameo which might well go unnoticed. However, it happens to be my first performance for a film and something that is a very special moment in every actor’s life!

I got a call from my friend Abhishek Bhardwaj that there is a requirement for an actor to play a photographer in a scene in The Dirty Picture which is due to be released this month. I had seen the promos of this film and was aware that it is directed by Milan Luthria who has also directed several other brilliant and successful films like Kachche Dhaage, Taxi no. 9211 and Once Upon a time in Mumbai. Bhardwaj informed me that there is just 1 line and it’s more like a favour. He also told me that this needs to be taken seriously as it is for a big film! I had always thought that the reason I’ve kept my 9 to 5 job is that it supports me in life and that way, I do not have to take up any small role that comes my way just for money. I thought with the financial stability my job gives me, I can afford to put my foot down and only aim for the biggies! However, I agreed to do this one as for some strange reason, it felt like the right thing to do!

I got a call from Arun, Milan Sir’s assistant, and he gave me all the details of the shoot. I was to report at the Trombay club at 7.30 am the next morning. It was about an hour’s drive from Andheri. I woke up at 5.30 in the morning and reached the venue at 7.28 am. Arun guided me to where the Vanity van was and asked me to be there till I was called. On my way to the van, I was surprised to see that around 50 members of the crew were already there working on setting things up. It was enough to get me excited and nervous at the same time. Suddenly, it started sinking in!! I was slowly beginning to realize that I was indeed on the sets of my first film ever! And that in some time, I will be facing Naseeruddin Shah and Vidya Balan and saying my only line! Naseerji who some people say is India’s finest actor and Vidya who has conquered the film industry in the last few years (and also someone I have personally admired for the way she has made her career graph go upwards)!! These and several other thoughts kept playing on my mind as I reached the vanity van. I was surprised that there was actually a spot for me in a VANITY VAN. I mean, weren’t these vans just for the STARS?? But I was very happy to see a van with my name on it! I was supposed to share it with the direction people 🙂

So I was in my vanity where I met Mujaid, another one of Milan Sir’s assistants. I am 100% sure that I am getting his name wrong. I will get this rectified here the moment someone corrects me! He was busy with his laptop checking some stuff for the shoot. He greeted me and asked me to “chill” and said that someone will call me when I am needed. A couple of assistants showed up in the next few minutes to put their bags in the van. One of them was Neha, who I want to say, was the cutest AND hottest girl on the sets that day. She wore a sporty T-Shirt and Jeans, was wired up like an AD usually is and wore a cap with her pony tail coming out of the slot at the back of the cap (don’t know what it is called..sorry). When she left the van, I was really hoping to see her again 😛 Anyway, so there I was..in my vanity…”chilling”!! Nothing changed for the next few hours. I went out once in a while to see if the set was ready..to see if I am needed somewhere for something..to just kill the anxiety basically!! On one of these trips outside, I saw Naseerji’s car enter! I saw him through his window. The next thing I knew was that I was peeing in my vanity out of nervousness. I now knew that we were close to the beginning of the shoot.

In the next few minutes, I was given my script and costume. I had just one line which I memorized quickly and rehearsed around 40 times there and then! During these rehearsals, Manini from the Art department (another very very cute girl) visited the Van as she needed some print outs from the laptop. We started talking and to my benefit, Manini turned out to be a jovial, fun-loving, smiling girl who helped me kick out some of my nervousness, anxiety and joblessness that had sinked in during the past few hours! Ketan, who is doing stills for the film, came in for a while and along with Manini lit up the little van with his one liners and jokes on..well..everything!! I was already in my costume that was sent to the van by the Costume department (had sent Manini out of the van for a bit to get into my costume :P).

I kept rehearsing my line to check what the different ways in which I can say it are. I built a background to the photographer’s character and answered important questions about him in my head – where does he come from, what is his motive behind saying this line, etc. I also tried to recollect all the photographers I have seen and figure out how they hold their camera, how they talk, how they stand, etc. I was keeping myself busy with all this when Aditya, another one of the friendly ADs, informed me that we will soon be shooting my scene. He was an intelligent guy who knew everything that was going on inside out. He had explained to me earlier what the backdrop of the scene is and this time when I said my line to him, he said that’s exactly what they need – “bass..yehi rakhna!!” 😀 Now that I knew that the scene was about to be shot, the frequency of my visits to the loo increased drastically. I was literally peeing every 5-10 minutes! It was 1.30 pm when Aditya came to the Van and said, “It’s time. Let’s go.”

There were already several other people on the set. There were other crew members who were busy setting things up for the scene to be shot. There was Neha with a mike announcing instructions. What I loved was the way she was keeping her calm throughout… even in times of frolic. And then, there was Milan Sir whom I was seeing live for the first time. He was dressed up in a simple T-shirt and track pants and was walking around in a pretty cool mood. This showed that Neha, Mujaid, Arun, Aditya, Manini and the other ADs whom I did not meet had things pretty much in place. In a couple more minutes, I saw Naseerji and Vidya walk up to the set fully dressed up with their make-up on. My heart started pounding faster. It was time for me to shoot the first scene of my life..and I was going to say my line with these stalwarts in less than 5 meters of distance from me. Milan Sir took a couple of rehearsals of the part where these two characters enter the spot in their car. Once this establishing shot was captured, it was time for the main scene.

While setting the scene up, Milan Sir asked me to say my line. That’s the first time he spoke with me. I quickly said what I was supposed to say. Then, while he was figuring things out with the cameraman, I said to myself, ”What the hell are you doing Dilip?? Why are you rushing it up?? Is that how you are supposed to say your line?? Calm down dude!!” We rehearsed again and I said it a bit better this time (that’s what I thought). We then went for a take and all I knew after that was that I am a photographer who is shooting two stars. I tried to focus on my character as much as I could and gave the required takes. I even had a little opportunity to discuss the scene with Naseerji and Milan Sir. I did say what I thought but I doubt they took me seriously 😛 Anyway, we were done with Naseerji’s part and the whole team bid him goodbye as it was the last day of shoot for The Dirty Picture. I applauded with everyone as I could already feel that Naseerji must have done some fabulous work in this film. The next thing to be shot was a close up of mine. We went through it quickly and I was extremely extreeemely happy and thrilled when Milan Sir said “Very good” during one of the takes! 😀 Neha then informed me that we were done with my part. Soon, the entire set was moved to a different place in the club where a scene was to be shot with Vidya. What stunned me during this entire shoot was the speed at which the production guys and the ADs work. They had moved cameras, sets, junior artists, foreigners in the background, etc. from one spot to another in a span of just a couple of minutes! They did this several times during the shoot. For every scene, they had to make sure that the background is clear, things are in continuity and all other such technicalities are taken care of. And I must say that I was AWED at the way they handled these things. I had always heard how Hollywood is so organized and how Bollywood sucks at it. Well, on my first day of shoot, what I saw was something contradictory. I thought things were organized and managed extremely well and I could see the hard work that goes behind each scene!

While Vidya’s scene was being shot, I got out of my costume and packed my bag to leave. I had lunch on the sets just because I wanted to stay there a bit longer 🙂 I then went and shook hands with all those whom I had met during the day and thanked them for their help. I couldn’t see Milan Sir around and Vidya was still busy and Naseerji had left. I doubt I would have gathered the courage to shake hands with Naseerji though. I felt really intimidated by his personality and the way he carried himself on the sets 😛

Although I knew people are not even going to notice me in this film, I left the set very happy and satisfied. I had realized that I made the right choice by wanting to be an actor. You know, when the director shouted “silence..rolling..action”, when I was saying my line before Naseerji and Vidya, when there were lights and three cameras on me, I knew this is what I want to do all my life! This is what I really can do no matter what people say! And this is what I am going to fight for and make a living out of!!

There is a chance that my part might even get cut off during edits..you never know! However, I will never forget this day – 5Th of November, 2011 – The day when I shot for my first film!! Irrespective of where my career takes me in the future, Milan Luthria will always be the first film director I worked with!! Naseeruddin Shah and Vidya Balan will always be the actors I performed my first role with!! “The Dirty Picture” will always be MY FIRST FILM!! 🙂

Yours truly,

Dilip Merala

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Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge – A breath of fresh air

I must admit that I watched this film because it starred Saqib and Prabal. I know Saqib through Anuj who is the director of my play Holi. Prabal is someone I have done theatre with and we also happen to have many common friends. I did have quite a few expectations from both of them as in my head, these were two actors with a lot of potential! 😛

When the movie began, my first reaction was that of happiness to watch Saqib on the big screen. It reminded me of the time I had seen Kartik in Pyaar ka Punchnaama and Amol in Rocket Singh. All competition, jealousy, and insecurities aside, there is a great deal of excitement and pleasure in watching a friend of yours in a movie!  Saqib looked great and in the first few frames itself, he established that he was very camera friendly and natural. I also noticed Prabal who in my opinion is a very fine actor. The guy has a certain ‘cuteness combined with mischief’ quality about him that made him perfect for the part. The rapport between Mansi, Prabal and Saqib is evident on the big screen and one can make out that they must have had a ball while shooting for MFK!

While I do not find myself worthy of criticizing a film, what I will be expressing here on my blog is my opinion on the film and reasons that led to it. I really liked Mujhse Fraandship Karoge for a few reasons – First, it starred people I knew! 😀 Second, there is a certain freshness and energy to the entire movie be it the cast, the set design, the implementation! Third, I think the actors did a very good job..each one played their respective parts really well and I would say hats off to Shanoo Sharma for the casting. I can imagine how tough it is to get a cast of new actors (who can really perform well) in place for a project as big as this one! I do realize that there is perhaps a very detailed scrutiny required to figure out who plays what! 🙂 And it goes without saying that most of the credit for this project being so cool goes to the captain of the ship – director Nupur Asthana. Well done Nupur! And you deserve every bit of the success this film is enjoying! 🙂

I am not a huge fan of the music of this film though. Films like Band Baaja Baraat have done much better in this department. I was also not very impressed with the scene which should have been the best scene of the film – the one close to the climax where everyone finds out what’s going on and Saqib leaves in angst. It felt a bit rushed for a moment that is so crucial in the lives of these 4 characters. I didn’t quite get what was going on and I thought it could have been cleaner and more polished.

Nevertheless, I liked the film on the whole and also recommended it to my friends. My favourite actor was Saba Azad as Preity. I thought she looked great and performed brilliantly! And of course there was Saqib in the middle of it all, pumping in energy, joy, laughter, dance and a whole lot of fun into the movie. I think you have a great future buddy and I wish you all the very best!! I can’t wait to watch your next! The same goes to Prabal, Mansi and all the other new actors in the cast. You guys have done extremely well and I hope to see you all soon in other projects. I promise to be there in the audience cheering for you guys!! 🙂

Lots of love…

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RIP Gautam Rajadhyaksha

Ace photographer Gautam Rajadhyaksha passed away this morning. I was deeply saddened by this news as he was the biggest film personality whom I knew or rather who knew me! I had met him 4 times at his place around 3 years ago. I wanted him to shoot my portfolio and he had agreed to do it provided I worked on my physique. For the past 3 years, I had been calling him on his birthday (16th of September) and I was surprised that he could always remember who I was! It is so very sad that he passed away on 3 days before his birthday when I would have given him a call and spoken with him. Gautamji was a great man! I was always told that people in this industry are mean and are never helpful. It was Gautamji who changed this perception for me. In a very strange way, Gautamji is responsible for where I am in my life today! After the completion of my acting course, I had purchased the film directory named Film India to get a list of photographers whom I could contact for my portfolio. That’s where I got Gautamji’s number from. I called him and he told me how much he charges (an amount which was huge and unaffordable for me) and that he first needs to meet me to see if he wants to shoot me. I used to live in Navi Mumbai then and Gautamji lived in Churchgate (not exactly but close to it). I can never forget my first meeting with him! He had given me precise instructions on how to get to his place. His house was in a building which had those spiral stairs that goi round and round and lead you upstairs. His house was where the stairs led to! All along the stairs you could see awesome paintings, artistic posters of films and plays, etc. I was already feeling very nervous. I was also hoping that there was no dog at his place since I am super scared of dogs! (that’s changing slowly though :P). I rang the bell hoping to hear no barking. Thankfully, there was none! Gautamji’s servant let me in and asked me to wait while he went off to call Gautamji. I was waiting in the drawing hall and on the table next to me, I saw Gautamji’s book Faces that I had read about. I wanted to see it but I was really scared to touch anything there without his permission so i didn’t. I waited for about 10 minutes after which the man appeared. Dressed in a simple white kurta pyjama, he had a very pleasant smile. I greeted him with a Namaste and shook his hand then. He asked me if I could find his place easily, and then about the trains and how long did it take for me to get there. He found out everything about me  – my qualification (B.E.), my future plans, what I intend to do. I had a job offer in hand and I had about a month to join. I told Gautamji about my intentions of becoming an actor and that i was confused whether to join my job or not. He said, “Look, this is field is very unpredictable. A lot of people come to me for portfolios and trust me, most of them are really dumb idiots. You have completed your engineering which is a good thing. You sound like an intelligent boy and I am sure you are a good actor. However, this field is very unpredictable for everyone. You should take up your job, work somewhere close to your house and put in all the rest of your time towards acting. If it works out, great! You can make the switch from your job to being a full-time actor whenever you want. If it does not work out, you will still have your job!”. This is something I already knew. However, when it came from such a prominent personality of the industry, I had to take it seriously. I am following that advice of his till date! The job I have today is the one I took up because Gautamji asked me to! I work for 8-9 hours a day and put the rest of my time in theatre, gym, auditions, etc. After that advice, Gautamji told me that he needs me to build up my physique. I asked him if that was important as i wanted to rely more on my acting. Also, I told him that everybody was into body-building these days and I want to be different and not follow the herd. He explained to me that when he shoots me, he needs to see some kind of appeal. I was too thin then and he feared that people would call me “kaadi pehelwaan” (exactly the words he used!!). He asked me to join the gym and then come back to him after a few months. Then came the important part – money. I asked him how much I would have to pay him for the portfolio. I think he had sensed by then that I am not a rich guy. He said, “I can’t charge you what I charge the others.” He then offered to do the shoot at a price that I thought was too less for a Gautam Rajadhyaksha. I told him I can pay him more as I had saved for it. He said I can use the remaining money for buying clothes for the shoot. Ohh yes – he also said we would need to have one more meeting where I would need to show him my wardrobe. He asked me to put all the clothes I had in a suitcase and get them to him. I did that for our next meeting and he was happy with what I had. He gave me a short list of other clothes to buy. I then met him one more time to give him a status update of my gymming. After that Gautamji got a bit busy. A couple of times when I called, he was out of the country. And then, I got occupied with theatre, office and other activities. It was sad that the photo shoot never happened. I had always hoped that some day the time will come when I will have the perfect physique and will walk up to Gautamji and ask him ,”Can we shoot now?”. Unfortunately, that day is never going to come now. I will miss you Sir. Thank you for everything. I hope I can do something good in this industry and make you proud. Rest in peace…

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My first visit to Filmistan studio

This blog has helped me in many ways and one of those is that a lot of people who knew me but did not know I am an actor, discovered it through my blog! I got a call from my Dad one day saying that one of my Uncles read my blog and was surprised to know that I am an actor. You see I had been a good student (academically) in school and had completed my engineering successfully so most of my relatives expected me to just take up an engineer’s job, earn a fair amount of money, buy a house, get married at 26ish and live happily ever after with my family. So it didn’t surprise me that me being an actor came as a shock to them. After all, the entertainment industry is taboo for the middle class!

Anyway, my uncle (Adi Chacha) was very supportive and he told my Dad that there is a relative of ours who has been a Production Executive in films for over 25 years. My Dad too knew this person but was not as close to him as my Uncle. I too had heard about him at some point in the early stages of my theatre days. My uncle offered to arrange my meeting with him to see if he could be of any help. So we coordinated and decided to meet Veeraiah (fondly called as Veeru) in a week’s time. The venue decided was the Filmistan studio in Goregaon where Veeriah was busy with the setting up of some promo shoot starring Akshay Kumar.

It was a weekday so I had to leave after office. I picked up my Uncle on my bike from a place close to my office. It was a 40-minute ride from where I work to get to Filmistan. Veeriah instructed the watchman to let us in and there I was..in Filmistan – the studio that I had heard and read about so many times! There were different studios/floors (1,2,3,etc,,) and we were supposed to see Veeriah on Floor 2. When we got there, my Uncle greeted this modest man with the looks of a typical Telugu 45 year old (thats what he looked like, no idea what his real age is!) and introduced me to him. Veeriah was pretty much in charge of everything that was going around there. He was looking after brunch arrangements for the cast and crew at that point. At the same time, someone or the other kept calling him for something or the other. He came across as a very busy man, the point of contact for any problems that were encountered – he asked one of his people to call Akshay’s make-up man’s driver for something, then went to floor 2 to check if the set was ready, then met with the director of the promo being shot to discuss about something, then instructed someone about truck parking near the set… he was on the move all the time! It reminded me of the days when I used to work as a theatre production guy – the train and bus journeys from Sanpada to Mira road, the hunt for rehearsal halls, the days when I survived on just a vada pav, the urge to learn everybody’s lines and rehearse with them so that I get noticed some day, the hunt for sponsors for the plays, picking up and dropping actors when needed, making notes as the director dictated what he needs, buying and arranging all the props, sets, costumes… Production work is truly one of the most difficult and taxing parts of any creative project!

Anyway, so when Veeriah finally got some time to sit and talk, he asked me what I had done. I had prepared a file with huge sized pictures of mine (had seen a couple of portfolios that way!) and my Resume to show Veeriah what I have done and what I wish to do. I showed it to him gave him a brief idea about my past. I told him that I didn’t come to him earlier because I had not done anything much and was not even confident that I was ready to start working as an actor. ”Now I am!”, I said. Once he understood where I was coming from, he immediately took me along to the sets of a TV show named Ammaji Ki Gali. It was being shot right next to the set where he was working. He told me that he knows the director and will help me get some work. When i understood where this was going, i immediately stopped him and said , “I am not interested in television. I want to do films.” The expression on his face changed. He took a breath and said, “Well, in that case, it’s a tough life! Look, it’s good that you are doing theatre, but films is a different ball game altogether. There is no way of getting through here. You can just keep trying, auditioning, etc.” I then asked him what he thinks is the best way of increasing my chances and if assisting a director would help. As soon as he heard this, his eyes lit up and his enthusiasm was back. “Do you want to assist a director?” he asked. “I wouldn’t mind if it helps me become a part of the film circuit and opens up some prospects for the future”, I told him. He then said, “Well, Anthony D’Souza, the director of Blue, is a friend of mine. I can try to talk to him for you and get you to work as an assistant on his next project which is beginning in September. However, you need to give me some time for this!”. “That’s great! ” I said. “Do I have to leave my job? And what do I do till I get a call from you?” I asked. He said that I might not have to leave my job as the shoot would not be for very many days. I could manage with leaves. He asked me to continue doing theatre, continue going to the gym and not make the mistake of leaving my job as it is extremely important to have a backup! I took his advice seriously and thanked him for offering to help. He asked my Uncle to stay back as they were meeting after a long time and were planning to go for some drinks once he is done with his work. My uncle asked me to leave and told me that I should not worry about him (I was worried coz my uncle lived around 2 hours away from where this studio was and I wanted him to get back home early and safe)! So I left Filmistan with the thought that some day I will come back as an actor to shoot for a film and will remember this first time that I had come here!

To be honest, I was not expecting much out of this meeting as I did not really know Veeriah. I thought it would be one of those formal meetings where he would say “This is a tough world, just forget it and focus on your job. This place is not for us. I can’t help you “ kind of a thing. However, not once did Veeriah say that I should not pursue a career in acting. That made me feel good. If he actually gets me to assist Anthony D’Souza on his next project, I will be grateful to him. But even If he does not, I am still relieved that I know someone from the industry now and have some connection at least! 😛 And at the end of it all, I was extremely excited that I had finally stepped into Filmistan, a place where so many huge projects were shot over so many years! It felt like my time was to come soon!! 🙂

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I am Ready…again!!

First, let me apologize to all my readers for taking ages to post this one. Certain personal issues and commitments had kept me away from writing for a while. In fact, I did start writing a couple of times but was dissatisfied with what I wrote. I was just not in the right frame of mind to post up anything new. However, almost 40 days later, I have realized that not writing is not acceptable and I must write whatever I can. So, here I am!

I am going to give you guys a quick update of all that has happened over the past few days. Here we go:

 

Quick chat with Madhur Bhandarkar:


I met Madhur at the gym. I knew he would not entertain me but I still wanted to talk. So, I said, “Hi Madhur, may I please speak with you after a work-out for a bit?”. He replied, “But what is it about?”. I said, “I am an actor and I am looking for work.” once again, the most ridiculously anticipatable answer – one that will never work! He said, “Main casting nahi karta yaar (I don’t do casting), tu mere office mein chala jaa na (can can go to my office)..”. He repeated this a couple of times in an assuring tone just to make sure that I don’t feel bad. All I could say after that was “Ok. Thank you Sir. Main office chala jaata hoon.” He went back to his workout and me to mine.

 

Tips from Sahil Khan:
Remember Sahil Khan, the well-built actor who made it big with Style and Excuse me? He works out at my gym and our work-out times usually coincide. One day when I bumped into him, I asked him what’s the trick to have a physique like him. He asked me my intention – “Do you want to grow big, or be lean?”. “Somwehere in between”, I told him.He gave me some quick tips on diet, products to use, workout, etc. It was very sweet of him to guide me and I am following what he had advised.

 

Meeting with a Production executive:
A relative of mine read my blog and informed about about this friend of his (who is also a distant relative of ours) working in the film industry. His name is Veeraiah (fondly kknown as Veeru) and he has been a Production Executive for almost 25 years. My dad told me that he culd be of some help so I decided to go and meet him. What happened in that meeting is coming up in a later blog post! 🙂

 

An opportunity to assist Harry Anand:


Remember Harry Anand? I had loved his song “subah aate hi jaise taare chup jaate” when I was in school. He is now into directing music videos (while still composing) and also plans to direct a film. My friend Ankit who works as an Editor  informed me about this opportunity to assist Harry in his music videos and a prospective film offer too. I decided to consider it and so went and meet Harry. What happened there is again to be narrated in a future post coming up soon.

 

Shanoo’s acknowledgment of my blog post:
Somehow, Shanoo Sharma happened to read my note about her and sent me a message on Facebook. This meant a great deal for me!! It’s not that she has offered me something or told me about a prospective role..there is nothing like that! But just her acknowledgment of having read my note made me feel very very good! It was very sweet of you Shanoo to have actually bothered to send me that message. God bless you!! And yes, I will keep fighting and write my own destiny! 🙂

 

These are the only exciting things to have happened in my life in the past few days. While I had slowed down a bit due to personal reasons, I am now trying to stand up and fight back! I will try to move faster than before and not stop till I get to my goal!! Like one of the most cliched sayings in the industry goes – “The show MUST go on!”.

Bring it on dear struggle…I am ready again!!

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My meeting with Shanoo Sharma..

I had spoken with Shanoo a couple of months ago over the phone. I told her that I was an actor looking for a break and would like to meet her. She had said that she was very busy and had no time to meet anyone but that I can send her my pictures by email. I did that immediately after the call but at that time, I was not very confident those pictures would work. As expected, I did not hear anything from her for the next two months. However, I decided to try again. So I messaged Shanoo this time saying that I am an actor and would love to meet her. I was surprised when after 3 days, she replied saying – “I am very busy right now. Please talk to my assistant Priyata on (cell number) and she will do the needful. Thanks.” This was a big surprise for me for two reasons –

1. Shanoo Sharma, the casting director for Yash Raj Films and many other projects like My name is Khan, I hate Luv stories, Yeh Saali Zindagi and Khoya Khoya Chand had actually bothered to reply to my SMS.

2. She had replied after 3 days..by then, I had already lost hope that she would reply and was looking for another way to get in touch with her!

Anyway, I saw a ray of hope here. I immediately called Priyata up. She did not answer my call. I waited for a couple of hours and tried again. This time she answered. I told her about my conversation with Shanoo and that I really wanted to meet her. She was very sweet, she listened to everything I said carefully and replied in a very polite tone – “The thing is, we are very busy with some casting work right now. So Shanoo can’t meet anyone. What you can do is, give me a call next week and then may be we can arrange for a meeting?”. That’s all that I wanted!! I thanked Priayata and told her I will call next Monday.

I was anxiously waiting for Monday because I realized how important this meeting with Shanoo was! It could change my life forever. Shanno could say – “Ok, I am casting for this film and you fit the bill..come and audition”. And then if I turn out to be good, I could be in the next Yash Raj film!! That’s like the biggest break one can imagine!! However, as destiny has it, you do not get a break so easily!!

I called Priyata on Monday and reminded her of our previous conversation. She remembered me and said she will talk to Shanoo and schedule a meeting in the next couple of days. I asked her if I should send her my pictures in the meantime. I had the fresh lot of pictures clicked by Swapz so I was feeling a lot more confident asking people if I should send them my pics 😛 She said – “Please do that..that would be great!!” What happened after this was unbelievable!! I went back to my desk, sent Priyata my pictures, and in the next 1 hour I get a call back from her – “Shanoo is free right now..can you come in 20 minutes?”. I was shocked, amazed, surprised, happy, nervous, and clueless too!! I told Priyata that I was in Andheri East and it would take me a lot of time to reach where Shanoo lives as the transit means going through the most pathetically crowded and busy road of the city – the Andheri Kurla road!! Priyata said – “Well, you have 20-30 minutes..try and make it”. I ran, picked up my bag, told my team leader Sanjay that I have to leave RIGHT NOW. He let me go since he gauged it was something important. I took off on my bike! You know, bike rides can be quite weird when you are with your thoughts and approaching something of this calibre. I don’t remember having seen a single thing, vehicle, person, shop, animal, or anything on the busy road. I was so lost in my thoughts about the meeting that the only thing that registered in my memory is Shanoo’s building when I reached there. I can’t recollect absolutely anything else about the ride between my office and Shanoo’s place. I was getting all kinds of thoughts – It must be the pictures that did the trick, may be they are good? Is it just by chance that this is happening? What the hell do I tell her? How do I start? Should I come across as nervous and someone who is desperate for work or should I come across as confident and flaunt a cool attitude? Shanoo must be meeting thousands of aspiring actors..how do I make myself look different? I think I should just be myself..but myself? Nervous, Underconfident, Not knowing what to say, Not looking my best (as I was caught off guard when Priyata asked me to come down immediately) – this was MYSELF at that point of time..so would being myself help? Passing through these wonderfully comfortable thoughts, I arrived at Shanoo’s building!

I rang the door bell and Shanoo opened the door. She welcomed me with a smile and asked me to come in. I could see Priyata and another lady standing at a distance. I took off my shoes and proceeded to the dining table where she offered me a seat and sat opposite me. On my way to the table I said, “Thank you so much for agreeing to meet me!”. I was sweating from the bike ride in the hot sun and the heat of the situation of course. She came right to the point – “So Dilip, tell me.” I went blank but had to say something…So I went – “There is no perfect way of saying this so I will just say it the way I feel. I am a good actor and a good dancer. I am looking for work in films.” Just when I got some clarity of thought on what I will say next, she interrupted. She said, “What have you done?”. I said, “I have been doing theatre for the past 3 years.”

“Ok. Are you looking only for lead roles?” she asked.

I interpreted this question as “do you want to become a lead actor?” and replied “Yes!”. This was my goof-up I think because what followed was not very good. Shanoo asked me why I want to look only for leads. When I replied that it means more work, more money and a chance to showcase both my acting and dancing talent, she said a Boman Irani makes more money and does more work than many of the lead actors. I wanted to argue, explain, take a stand but thought it would be rude and it will mess up my own case. She then said what I thought should have been my answer – “You should take whatever comes your way and then if some director thinks you are good for a lead, he will cast you.” This was something that I knew. I knew that I would have to start small and work my way up. I don’t know why I said “Yes” when she asked if I was looking ONLY for lead roles. So when she said all this, I just agreed with her and said, I want to audition for anything that I am fit for and that my AIM is to play lead roles but I do not mind starting with whatever that comes my way. She then said, “Well, right now I am looking for people between 17 and 21 for Yash Raj, that’s what the market demands today and you have already crossed that age…However, I also keep getting other projects to cast and I will see if something comes up for you.” She then said what most people say to end a conversation like this – what Shahid said, what Honey Trehan said – “I have your pictures, I will let you know if something comes up.”

I realized that she wanted to end the meeting and probably wants me to leave. I felt bad that I had almost messed up this entire opportunity of meeting one of the most prominent casting directors of the country by coming across as a confused guy who doesn’t know what he really wants. But before I left, I wanted to say something more. So I went – “Thanks a lot! See, I am 25 years old and I really want to make a career in this industry. If I have to do something good, I MUST start now. I am confident that if I get a start, I will work things out and move up! So please let me know if there is anything for me.” This time, when I looked at her, I knew she was listening carefully and understanding what I mean .

She said, “Don’t worry. I will definitely let you know. Right now, I am going to be busy with the YRF 17-21 year-old casting for a while..almost 3 months..but you can call Priyata every 2 months and follow-up in case you do not hear from me. ” When she said this, I felt that it almost meant that I am NOT going to hear from her and that I need to follow up like several other aspiring actors do. I felt that I had lost an opportunity. May be I was expecting too much from the meeting. What else could come out of it? It was silly of me to think that Shanoo might immediately cast me for something. I was disappointed that I could not leave a mark and the impression I left on her was not great! I put on my shoes, thanked her once again and left the building. As I approached my bike, I said to myself – this was round 1!! I knew that I would need to repeat this entire process once again 3 months later. Not just with Shanoo, but also with other casting directors, and directors and producers too! I was lucky that Shanoo was so sweet and nice to me, others might not be! I could see in her eyes that she wanted to help me and everything she was saying was genuine advice! It was me who expected too much and goofed up. Anyway, meetings might not always go as planned but I would need to learn from them and be better in the ones that come!

Right now, I am carrying on with the hope that I do actually hear from Shanoo some day…

Regards..

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When a buddy succeeds as you watch…

My flatmate Kartik has made it big! He is one of the lead actors in a movie named Pyaar ka Punchnama which is all ready to hit theatres on May 20, 2011. The guy is good-looking, smart and from the look of the promos, has done pretty well! The movie in itself looks like an excellent youth-oriented fun-filled ride about 3 guys and their struggle with love. I love the caption – Come..Fall out of love!! 😀

Kartik had kept his movie role as a surprise to all of us until very recently when he showed us the promos and broke out the news that he had been shooting for almost a year. He has worked very hard to audition for this role and has gone through almost 3 months of screening to finally get selected for the movie. It is great to see his hard work pay off and the movie shape up so well.

Last night, Kartik invited us to the music launch of his film. I had never been to such a party so I decided to go. It was at a hotel in Juhu, Mumbai – one of the big, unvisited hotels for me. When Tashi (my Tibetan flatmate) and I reached the place, we saw hundreds of people in the dining area. The food looked and smelled great! But we had to look for Kartik first so I decided to put the eating on hold for a while (although I was super hungry after the day’s work). While I looked around, I could make out that a lot of people eating over there had nothing to do with the film. They were gate-crashers. This was understood as all we had to say at the security entrance was “Pyaar ka Punchnama music launch” and they let us in. There was free food and free booze..I would have been surprised had there been no gate-crashers!! 😀  We went a bit further inside into a hall where there were two big screens which displayed Pyaar Ka Punchnama screensavers. There was a stage and at the centre of this stage was our boy! We saw Kartik with the girl who plays his love interest (Nushrat) surrounded by journalists. Their faces were lit as they were being shot so one could spot them easily in a dark room. There were similar interviews going on at different corners of this hall. There were the other guys and girls from the film being interviewed at other areas and the director (Luv Ranjan) being interviewed on stage next to Kartik and Nushrat. However, I thought Kartik stole the show!! He has a certain Star quality, a certain persona, X-factor (whatever you may call it) about him that will make you look at him even when he is in a crowd. May be I feel this way because he is my friend?!? I thought he looked very confident and charismatic as he was answering questions from the Press – chatting, smiling, laughing, joking…I could see the Star in him!!! Nushrat looked very cute next to him. They made a good pair these two!

Tashi and I figured out that it will take a while for Kartik to get free. We made jokes about how he is a big man now and would not notice us! 😛 It was his moment and we could not intrude. So we decided to turn to the food. Actually, Tashi went to the drinks and me to the food. After a delicious dinner, Tashi left for another commitment while I went back to the main hall waiting for Kartik to get free. In the meantime, I saw Madhur Bhandarkar giving interviews. It crossed my mind that I should meet him and tell him about me. However, it would have been wrong as it was Kartik’s night and there was no way I could do anything that would embarrass him! So, I decided that I would not talk to anyone but Kartik and leave. While I was waiting for him, they played the new song of the film that goes “Bandh gaya patta, dekho ban gaya kutta”..It was hilarious. I think this video is going to get the film more audiences than all the other promotions put together. The film’s music is unbelievably awesome! Whether it’s the Ishq na Kariyo track by Mika or the Life sahi hai number, the music has been liked by everyone and is bound to be in favour of the film’s success! 🙂

While I was very happy for Kartik and it felt good that Kartik was enjoying all the limelight, I couldn’t help but wonder whether such a time would come for me too. Would I ever have the charisma that Kartik so effortlessly flaunts? Will I get such an opportunity and when?? I walked to the poolside from where I could see the beach..It was a beautiful atmosphere for one to be with one’s own thoughts. I dreamed for a while and then thought that I should get going. I met Kartik for 2 minutes, congratulated him on his success and wished him all the very best for his film from the bottom of my heart! I then took off on my bike to stop by at Amitji’s bungalow Prateeksha (something I do religiously). I thought of how Amitji had started and all that he would have had to go through to be where he is today. It was just the beginning for me! And I MUST not stop!!

I hope all my readers watch Pyaar ka Punchnama…it looks like a wonderful film and Kartik is a great guy!! He deserves your love! 🙂  The other guys and girls seem to have acted well too. Let’s all welcome these newcomers and show the industry that we as a smart, intelligent audience are open to new talent! 😀

Regards..