Smell, heat, stray dogs, and erratic traffic – these were the first few things that hit me within one hour of landing in Mumbai after living in the US for 3 years. You see, I grew up in Mumbai/ Navi Mumbai and had spent all my life in India till the age of 32. Then, in an attempt to do something new and run away from the nagging expectation of getting married, I traveled to the US to pursue higher studies in 2018. Four years later, thanks to loads of luck that put me in the right place at the right time with some wonderful people – I now have a Masters degree, a job in Los Angeles, and an apartment and life I have settled into. I obviously wanted to visit home every year but COVID and my visa status made it difficult for a while. Finally, I was able to visit in November 2022. On the 24-hour air journey (LA – Doha – Mumbai), I couldn’t help but wonder how different it would be for me visiting home after so long as I had never spent this much time away from India before. My 40-day stay at home in Navi Mumbai taught me a few things about myself and how the last few years have changed me.
For starters – I was finding it difficult to sync with the chaos around me. Crossing streets where rickshaws and scooters and trucks and cars and pedestrians weave into each other used to come to me as second nature. However, this time it took me a couple of days to find my rhythm while walking the streets. I was hesitating to cross and stopping sporadically like a rookie. This was a big revelation as I did not expect it would happen to me. Next was the heat, humidity and air quality. While I grew up in this Mumbai weather, the Southern California weather seemed to have coddled me in a way that I couldn’t imagine. I was feeling the humidity right from day 1 and it only got worse. To think it was like that in December made me wonder what would have happened had I visited in April or May!
Then, there was the whole ‘staying with family’ situation. In Navi Mumbai, 5 of us (granny, mom, dad, sister, me) lived in a small 1-bedroom flat before my sister got married and I left for the US. For the past couple of years, I had gotten used to living alone in a bigger space so it felt weird for the first couple of days living with 3 more people in the same room. When my sister visited for a couple of weeks, it was all 5 in the little space. My Dad graciously let me have the bedoom when I was working and at other times, it was somewhat nice to stay spend time my family members in the living room. Not for too long though! After every few minutes, I felt the urge to be by myself.
Thankfully, I was doing fine with the spicy food at home and at the restaurants I visited with my friends. I was happy to learn that my stomach hadn’t forgotten the embrace of spicy mutton curry or delicious dosas and chutneys.
It was also interesting to observe my outlook towards money. An Uber ride from one end of the city (Mazgaon) to the other (Vashi) cost around $10 which is what I would pay in California just to travel a few miles. Also, you could hire a driver in Navi Mumbai for Rs 700 for 8 hours if you had your own car. The idea to get such a service for less than $10 was something I couldn’t wrap my head around.
One of the more pleasant lessons was that I was able to catch up with old friends and continue from where we had left off years ago. For some reason, I thought this is easier said than done. Everybody moves on with their lives and their families and with every passing day, it becomes difficult to pick up the phone. So I ended up thinking that meeting old friends would be an awkward experience but I was delighted to learn that it was nothing of the sort. For example, my best friends from high school happened to be there around the same time and we were able to have a fun evening chatting and catching up like we used to all those years ago. Same happened with my college buddies and other friends from different phases of life.
The biggest and most heartbreaking development was that my mother was diagnosed with dementia in this duration that I was away. While she remembered me on my visit and was able to hold short conversations, I could clearly see that she wasn’t as active, talkative or expressive as she used to be. Naturally, a lot of time was spent with her and in discussions with my father and sister about her care.
Overall, it seemed to me that my brain had forgotten how active things are in India. There’s so much happening at any given moment. As many a writer had mentioned – it’s marvelous how it functions amidst so much chaos. Like you see on an average street – Everyone is constantly moving and yet hardly anyone is bumping into each other. In contrast, I feel like my life slows down when I’m in LA. I sleep, wake up, cook, eat, work, go out, occasionally party, spend time with my girlfriend, and indulge in some extracurriculars… that’s it. This list was always a lot longer when I was in India and it was also the case when I visited this time.
Strangely, when I got back to LA this time, it felt like I came home. And the whole India trip felt like a visit to a foreign land. Another thing I couldn’t have imagined would happen so soon! And to me! I wonder if this feeling is temporary or here to stay.
