Category: Acting & Theatre

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My first silver screen appearance…

The 2nd of December, 2011… Perhaps the biggest day of my life!! I was eagerly waiting for The Dirty Picture to release and was really nervous with an array of thoughts screwing my brains – Will they show my scene or just delete it?? Well, they shot it at the last moment so I think they really needed it! How will I look? Will they keep both of my lines or just the short one? Will it be so short that no one will even notice me? What if they just show Naseerji even during my line?? These and many other thoughts were making my life difficult on Friday.

I was to go for an evening show after office with some of my friends. They could not make it so ended up going alone. As I entered the movie hall, I felt very anxious (as one would expect). I knew it was just a very small appearance.. but still I couldn’t stop thinking of the day as a BIG ONE! I took my seat and after the annoying Vicco turmeric ad, the movie began! I had absolutely no idea when my scene would come as I hadn’t read the script. I waited for an hour and tried to enjoy the film. Well, I really couldn’t. The audience kept giggling at the funny one liners Vidya was cracking but I was just waiting…and waiting…and waiting…till the moment finally came! I saw myself in one frame..my face was hidden with the camera that I hold as a photographer. My heart started beating faster. A couple of frames later, I saw myself again but still hidden by the camera…this must have been my fastest heart rate ever!! And that very moment, I saw myself on screen saying my little line –

“Sir.. Zara chipakke Sir!!”

My first ever line as an actor on the silver screen!! It was a close-up so my face was seen! 😀 😀 😀

At this point, I had a hundred things going on in my head – There I am… I look weird … Why didn’t they give me make-up… It’s not my voice… the dubbed voice SUCKS… But people are laughing at the line… Are they going to show my next long line too?? Ohh noooooooo, it’s gone!!

As I was thinking about all this, the scene went past the spot where we had shot. I understood .. That was it.. my 2 seconds of fame!! I felt emotional but did not cry. I felt like telling people “Hey.. that was MEEEEE!!!” I wanted to hug someone.. thought of hugging the guy sitting next to me but he was already hugging his girl 😛

For the next few minutes, I could not concentrate on the film. I just kept thinking about my film appearance. It was my first appearance on the big screen!! My first film ever!!! It was slowly sinking in – My parents, my friends, people who know me are all going to see this.. Even if I die the next day, people will see me in the Dirty Picture in the years to come!! Yes, it could have been better. Yes, they could have used my voice and added my longer line. Yes, they could have given me Emraan Hashmi’s role!!! 😉 But that’s okay! It wasn’t the end… It was just the beginning!!!

I wonder why I did not cry. I think I know the answer. It’s because I knew that this is nothing compared to what I really want to do..  where I really want to get! It is just a start… A start that has given me a big boost! I know there is no looking back now. I know nothing can stop me. I know there is no other way. I know that I am either going to become a hugely successful actor or die trying to become one!!!

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The Dirty Picture – My first film

Before you guys get too excited, let me just tell you that it’s a 2-second cameo which might well go unnoticed. However, it happens to be my first performance for a film and something that is a very special moment in every actor’s life!

I got a call from my friend Abhishek Bhardwaj that there is a requirement for an actor to play a photographer in a scene in The Dirty Picture which is due to be released this month. I had seen the promos of this film and was aware that it is directed by Milan Luthria who has also directed several other brilliant and successful films like Kachche Dhaage, Taxi no. 9211 and Once Upon a time in Mumbai. Bhardwaj informed me that there is just 1 line and it’s more like a favour. He also told me that this needs to be taken seriously as it is for a big film! I had always thought that the reason I’ve kept my 9 to 5 job is that it supports me in life and that way, I do not have to take up any small role that comes my way just for money. I thought with the financial stability my job gives me, I can afford to put my foot down and only aim for the biggies! However, I agreed to do this one as for some strange reason, it felt like the right thing to do!

I got a call from Arun, Milan Sir’s assistant, and he gave me all the details of the shoot. I was to report at the Trombay club at 7.30 am the next morning. It was about an hour’s drive from Andheri. I woke up at 5.30 in the morning and reached the venue at 7.28 am. Arun guided me to where the Vanity van was and asked me to be there till I was called. On my way to the van, I was surprised to see that around 50 members of the crew were already there working on setting things up. It was enough to get me excited and nervous at the same time. Suddenly, it started sinking in!! I was slowly beginning to realize that I was indeed on the sets of my first film ever! And that in some time, I will be facing Naseeruddin Shah and Vidya Balan and saying my only line! Naseerji who some people say is India’s finest actor and Vidya who has conquered the film industry in the last few years (and also someone I have personally admired for the way she has made her career graph go upwards)!! These and several other thoughts kept playing on my mind as I reached the vanity van. I was surprised that there was actually a spot for me in a VANITY VAN. I mean, weren’t these vans just for the STARS?? But I was very happy to see a van with my name on it! I was supposed to share it with the direction people 🙂

So I was in my vanity where I met Mujaid, another one of Milan Sir’s assistants. I am 100% sure that I am getting his name wrong. I will get this rectified here the moment someone corrects me! He was busy with his laptop checking some stuff for the shoot. He greeted me and asked me to “chill” and said that someone will call me when I am needed. A couple of assistants showed up in the next few minutes to put their bags in the van. One of them was Neha, who I want to say, was the cutest AND hottest girl on the sets that day. She wore a sporty T-Shirt and Jeans, was wired up like an AD usually is and wore a cap with her pony tail coming out of the slot at the back of the cap (don’t know what it is called..sorry). When she left the van, I was really hoping to see her again 😛 Anyway, so there I was..in my vanity…”chilling”!! Nothing changed for the next few hours. I went out once in a while to see if the set was ready..to see if I am needed somewhere for something..to just kill the anxiety basically!! On one of these trips outside, I saw Naseerji’s car enter! I saw him through his window. The next thing I knew was that I was peeing in my vanity out of nervousness. I now knew that we were close to the beginning of the shoot.

In the next few minutes, I was given my script and costume. I had just one line which I memorized quickly and rehearsed around 40 times there and then! During these rehearsals, Manini from the Art department (another very very cute girl) visited the Van as she needed some print outs from the laptop. We started talking and to my benefit, Manini turned out to be a jovial, fun-loving, smiling girl who helped me kick out some of my nervousness, anxiety and joblessness that had sinked in during the past few hours! Ketan, who is doing stills for the film, came in for a while and along with Manini lit up the little van with his one liners and jokes on..well..everything!! I was already in my costume that was sent to the van by the Costume department (had sent Manini out of the van for a bit to get into my costume :P).

I kept rehearsing my line to check what the different ways in which I can say it are. I built a background to the photographer’s character and answered important questions about him in my head – where does he come from, what is his motive behind saying this line, etc. I also tried to recollect all the photographers I have seen and figure out how they hold their camera, how they talk, how they stand, etc. I was keeping myself busy with all this when Aditya, another one of the friendly ADs, informed me that we will soon be shooting my scene. He was an intelligent guy who knew everything that was going on inside out. He had explained to me earlier what the backdrop of the scene is and this time when I said my line to him, he said that’s exactly what they need – “bass..yehi rakhna!!” 😀 Now that I knew that the scene was about to be shot, the frequency of my visits to the loo increased drastically. I was literally peeing every 5-10 minutes! It was 1.30 pm when Aditya came to the Van and said, “It’s time. Let’s go.”

There were already several other people on the set. There were other crew members who were busy setting things up for the scene to be shot. There was Neha with a mike announcing instructions. What I loved was the way she was keeping her calm throughout… even in times of frolic. And then, there was Milan Sir whom I was seeing live for the first time. He was dressed up in a simple T-shirt and track pants and was walking around in a pretty cool mood. This showed that Neha, Mujaid, Arun, Aditya, Manini and the other ADs whom I did not meet had things pretty much in place. In a couple more minutes, I saw Naseerji and Vidya walk up to the set fully dressed up with their make-up on. My heart started pounding faster. It was time for me to shoot the first scene of my life..and I was going to say my line with these stalwarts in less than 5 meters of distance from me. Milan Sir took a couple of rehearsals of the part where these two characters enter the spot in their car. Once this establishing shot was captured, it was time for the main scene.

While setting the scene up, Milan Sir asked me to say my line. That’s the first time he spoke with me. I quickly said what I was supposed to say. Then, while he was figuring things out with the cameraman, I said to myself, ”What the hell are you doing Dilip?? Why are you rushing it up?? Is that how you are supposed to say your line?? Calm down dude!!” We rehearsed again and I said it a bit better this time (that’s what I thought). We then went for a take and all I knew after that was that I am a photographer who is shooting two stars. I tried to focus on my character as much as I could and gave the required takes. I even had a little opportunity to discuss the scene with Naseerji and Milan Sir. I did say what I thought but I doubt they took me seriously 😛 Anyway, we were done with Naseerji’s part and the whole team bid him goodbye as it was the last day of shoot for The Dirty Picture. I applauded with everyone as I could already feel that Naseerji must have done some fabulous work in this film. The next thing to be shot was a close up of mine. We went through it quickly and I was extremely extreeemely happy and thrilled when Milan Sir said “Very good” during one of the takes! 😀 Neha then informed me that we were done with my part. Soon, the entire set was moved to a different place in the club where a scene was to be shot with Vidya. What stunned me during this entire shoot was the speed at which the production guys and the ADs work. They had moved cameras, sets, junior artists, foreigners in the background, etc. from one spot to another in a span of just a couple of minutes! They did this several times during the shoot. For every scene, they had to make sure that the background is clear, things are in continuity and all other such technicalities are taken care of. And I must say that I was AWED at the way they handled these things. I had always heard how Hollywood is so organized and how Bollywood sucks at it. Well, on my first day of shoot, what I saw was something contradictory. I thought things were organized and managed extremely well and I could see the hard work that goes behind each scene!

While Vidya’s scene was being shot, I got out of my costume and packed my bag to leave. I had lunch on the sets just because I wanted to stay there a bit longer 🙂 I then went and shook hands with all those whom I had met during the day and thanked them for their help. I couldn’t see Milan Sir around and Vidya was still busy and Naseerji had left. I doubt I would have gathered the courage to shake hands with Naseerji though. I felt really intimidated by his personality and the way he carried himself on the sets 😛

Although I knew people are not even going to notice me in this film, I left the set very happy and satisfied. I had realized that I made the right choice by wanting to be an actor. You know, when the director shouted “silence..rolling..action”, when I was saying my line before Naseerji and Vidya, when there were lights and three cameras on me, I knew this is what I want to do all my life! This is what I really can do no matter what people say! And this is what I am going to fight for and make a living out of!!

There is a chance that my part might even get cut off during edits..you never know! However, I will never forget this day – 5Th of November, 2011 – The day when I shot for my first film!! Irrespective of where my career takes me in the future, Milan Luthria will always be the first film director I worked with!! Naseeruddin Shah and Vidya Balan will always be the actors I performed my first role with!! “The Dirty Picture” will always be MY FIRST FILM!! 🙂

Yours truly,

Dilip Merala

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My first visit to Filmistan studio

This blog has helped me in many ways and one of those is that a lot of people who knew me but did not know I am an actor, discovered it through my blog! I got a call from my Dad one day saying that one of my Uncles read my blog and was surprised to know that I am an actor. You see I had been a good student (academically) in school and had completed my engineering successfully so most of my relatives expected me to just take up an engineer’s job, earn a fair amount of money, buy a house, get married at 26ish and live happily ever after with my family. So it didn’t surprise me that me being an actor came as a shock to them. After all, the entertainment industry is taboo for the middle class!

Anyway, my uncle (Adi Chacha) was very supportive and he told my Dad that there is a relative of ours who has been a Production Executive in films for over 25 years. My Dad too knew this person but was not as close to him as my Uncle. I too had heard about him at some point in the early stages of my theatre days. My uncle offered to arrange my meeting with him to see if he could be of any help. So we coordinated and decided to meet Veeraiah (fondly called as Veeru) in a week’s time. The venue decided was the Filmistan studio in Goregaon where Veeriah was busy with the setting up of some promo shoot starring Akshay Kumar.

It was a weekday so I had to leave after office. I picked up my Uncle on my bike from a place close to my office. It was a 40-minute ride from where I work to get to Filmistan. Veeriah instructed the watchman to let us in and there I was..in Filmistan – the studio that I had heard and read about so many times! There were different studios/floors (1,2,3,etc,,) and we were supposed to see Veeriah on Floor 2. When we got there, my Uncle greeted this modest man with the looks of a typical Telugu 45 year old (thats what he looked like, no idea what his real age is!) and introduced me to him. Veeriah was pretty much in charge of everything that was going around there. He was looking after brunch arrangements for the cast and crew at that point. At the same time, someone or the other kept calling him for something or the other. He came across as a very busy man, the point of contact for any problems that were encountered – he asked one of his people to call Akshay’s make-up man’s driver for something, then went to floor 2 to check if the set was ready, then met with the director of the promo being shot to discuss about something, then instructed someone about truck parking near the set… he was on the move all the time! It reminded me of the days when I used to work as a theatre production guy – the train and bus journeys from Sanpada to Mira road, the hunt for rehearsal halls, the days when I survived on just a vada pav, the urge to learn everybody’s lines and rehearse with them so that I get noticed some day, the hunt for sponsors for the plays, picking up and dropping actors when needed, making notes as the director dictated what he needs, buying and arranging all the props, sets, costumes… Production work is truly one of the most difficult and taxing parts of any creative project!

Anyway, so when Veeriah finally got some time to sit and talk, he asked me what I had done. I had prepared a file with huge sized pictures of mine (had seen a couple of portfolios that way!) and my Resume to show Veeriah what I have done and what I wish to do. I showed it to him gave him a brief idea about my past. I told him that I didn’t come to him earlier because I had not done anything much and was not even confident that I was ready to start working as an actor. ”Now I am!”, I said. Once he understood where I was coming from, he immediately took me along to the sets of a TV show named Ammaji Ki Gali. It was being shot right next to the set where he was working. He told me that he knows the director and will help me get some work. When i understood where this was going, i immediately stopped him and said , “I am not interested in television. I want to do films.” The expression on his face changed. He took a breath and said, “Well, in that case, it’s a tough life! Look, it’s good that you are doing theatre, but films is a different ball game altogether. There is no way of getting through here. You can just keep trying, auditioning, etc.” I then asked him what he thinks is the best way of increasing my chances and if assisting a director would help. As soon as he heard this, his eyes lit up and his enthusiasm was back. “Do you want to assist a director?” he asked. “I wouldn’t mind if it helps me become a part of the film circuit and opens up some prospects for the future”, I told him. He then said, “Well, Anthony D’Souza, the director of Blue, is a friend of mine. I can try to talk to him for you and get you to work as an assistant on his next project which is beginning in September. However, you need to give me some time for this!”. “That’s great! ” I said. “Do I have to leave my job? And what do I do till I get a call from you?” I asked. He said that I might not have to leave my job as the shoot would not be for very many days. I could manage with leaves. He asked me to continue doing theatre, continue going to the gym and not make the mistake of leaving my job as it is extremely important to have a backup! I took his advice seriously and thanked him for offering to help. He asked my Uncle to stay back as they were meeting after a long time and were planning to go for some drinks once he is done with his work. My uncle asked me to leave and told me that I should not worry about him (I was worried coz my uncle lived around 2 hours away from where this studio was and I wanted him to get back home early and safe)! So I left Filmistan with the thought that some day I will come back as an actor to shoot for a film and will remember this first time that I had come here!

To be honest, I was not expecting much out of this meeting as I did not really know Veeriah. I thought it would be one of those formal meetings where he would say “This is a tough world, just forget it and focus on your job. This place is not for us. I can’t help you “ kind of a thing. However, not once did Veeriah say that I should not pursue a career in acting. That made me feel good. If he actually gets me to assist Anthony D’Souza on his next project, I will be grateful to him. But even If he does not, I am still relieved that I know someone from the industry now and have some connection at least! 😛 And at the end of it all, I was extremely excited that I had finally stepped into Filmistan, a place where so many huge projects were shot over so many years! It felt like my time was to come soon!! 🙂

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I am Ready…again!!

First, let me apologize to all my readers for taking ages to post this one. Certain personal issues and commitments had kept me away from writing for a while. In fact, I did start writing a couple of times but was dissatisfied with what I wrote. I was just not in the right frame of mind to post up anything new. However, almost 40 days later, I have realized that not writing is not acceptable and I must write whatever I can. So, here I am!

I am going to give you guys a quick update of all that has happened over the past few days. Here we go:

 

Quick chat with Madhur Bhandarkar:


I met Madhur at the gym. I knew he would not entertain me but I still wanted to talk. So, I said, “Hi Madhur, may I please speak with you after a work-out for a bit?”. He replied, “But what is it about?”. I said, “I am an actor and I am looking for work.” once again, the most ridiculously anticipatable answer – one that will never work! He said, “Main casting nahi karta yaar (I don’t do casting), tu mere office mein chala jaa na (can can go to my office)..”. He repeated this a couple of times in an assuring tone just to make sure that I don’t feel bad. All I could say after that was “Ok. Thank you Sir. Main office chala jaata hoon.” He went back to his workout and me to mine.

 

Tips from Sahil Khan:
Remember Sahil Khan, the well-built actor who made it big with Style and Excuse me? He works out at my gym and our work-out times usually coincide. One day when I bumped into him, I asked him what’s the trick to have a physique like him. He asked me my intention – “Do you want to grow big, or be lean?”. “Somwehere in between”, I told him.He gave me some quick tips on diet, products to use, workout, etc. It was very sweet of him to guide me and I am following what he had advised.

 

Meeting with a Production executive:
A relative of mine read my blog and informed about about this friend of his (who is also a distant relative of ours) working in the film industry. His name is Veeraiah (fondly kknown as Veeru) and he has been a Production Executive for almost 25 years. My dad told me that he culd be of some help so I decided to go and meet him. What happened in that meeting is coming up in a later blog post! 🙂

 

An opportunity to assist Harry Anand:


Remember Harry Anand? I had loved his song “subah aate hi jaise taare chup jaate” when I was in school. He is now into directing music videos (while still composing) and also plans to direct a film. My friend Ankit who works as an Editor  informed me about this opportunity to assist Harry in his music videos and a prospective film offer too. I decided to consider it and so went and meet Harry. What happened there is again to be narrated in a future post coming up soon.

 

Shanoo’s acknowledgment of my blog post:
Somehow, Shanoo Sharma happened to read my note about her and sent me a message on Facebook. This meant a great deal for me!! It’s not that she has offered me something or told me about a prospective role..there is nothing like that! But just her acknowledgment of having read my note made me feel very very good! It was very sweet of you Shanoo to have actually bothered to send me that message. God bless you!! And yes, I will keep fighting and write my own destiny! 🙂

 

These are the only exciting things to have happened in my life in the past few days. While I had slowed down a bit due to personal reasons, I am now trying to stand up and fight back! I will try to move faster than before and not stop till I get to my goal!! Like one of the most cliched sayings in the industry goes – “The show MUST go on!”.

Bring it on dear struggle…I am ready again!!

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My meeting with Shanoo Sharma..

I had spoken with Shanoo a couple of months ago over the phone. I told her that I was an actor looking for a break and would like to meet her. She had said that she was very busy and had no time to meet anyone but that I can send her my pictures by email. I did that immediately after the call but at that time, I was not very confident those pictures would work. As expected, I did not hear anything from her for the next two months. However, I decided to try again. So I messaged Shanoo this time saying that I am an actor and would love to meet her. I was surprised when after 3 days, she replied saying – “I am very busy right now. Please talk to my assistant Priyata on (cell number) and she will do the needful. Thanks.” This was a big surprise for me for two reasons –

1. Shanoo Sharma, the casting director for Yash Raj Films and many other projects like My name is Khan, I hate Luv stories, Yeh Saali Zindagi and Khoya Khoya Chand had actually bothered to reply to my SMS.

2. She had replied after 3 days..by then, I had already lost hope that she would reply and was looking for another way to get in touch with her!

Anyway, I saw a ray of hope here. I immediately called Priyata up. She did not answer my call. I waited for a couple of hours and tried again. This time she answered. I told her about my conversation with Shanoo and that I really wanted to meet her. She was very sweet, she listened to everything I said carefully and replied in a very polite tone – “The thing is, we are very busy with some casting work right now. So Shanoo can’t meet anyone. What you can do is, give me a call next week and then may be we can arrange for a meeting?”. That’s all that I wanted!! I thanked Priayata and told her I will call next Monday.

I was anxiously waiting for Monday because I realized how important this meeting with Shanoo was! It could change my life forever. Shanno could say – “Ok, I am casting for this film and you fit the bill..come and audition”. And then if I turn out to be good, I could be in the next Yash Raj film!! That’s like the biggest break one can imagine!! However, as destiny has it, you do not get a break so easily!!

I called Priyata on Monday and reminded her of our previous conversation. She remembered me and said she will talk to Shanoo and schedule a meeting in the next couple of days. I asked her if I should send her my pictures in the meantime. I had the fresh lot of pictures clicked by Swapz so I was feeling a lot more confident asking people if I should send them my pics 😛 She said – “Please do that..that would be great!!” What happened after this was unbelievable!! I went back to my desk, sent Priyata my pictures, and in the next 1 hour I get a call back from her – “Shanoo is free right now..can you come in 20 minutes?”. I was shocked, amazed, surprised, happy, nervous, and clueless too!! I told Priyata that I was in Andheri East and it would take me a lot of time to reach where Shanoo lives as the transit means going through the most pathetically crowded and busy road of the city – the Andheri Kurla road!! Priyata said – “Well, you have 20-30 minutes..try and make it”. I ran, picked up my bag, told my team leader Sanjay that I have to leave RIGHT NOW. He let me go since he gauged it was something important. I took off on my bike! You know, bike rides can be quite weird when you are with your thoughts and approaching something of this calibre. I don’t remember having seen a single thing, vehicle, person, shop, animal, or anything on the busy road. I was so lost in my thoughts about the meeting that the only thing that registered in my memory is Shanoo’s building when I reached there. I can’t recollect absolutely anything else about the ride between my office and Shanoo’s place. I was getting all kinds of thoughts – It must be the pictures that did the trick, may be they are good? Is it just by chance that this is happening? What the hell do I tell her? How do I start? Should I come across as nervous and someone who is desperate for work or should I come across as confident and flaunt a cool attitude? Shanoo must be meeting thousands of aspiring actors..how do I make myself look different? I think I should just be myself..but myself? Nervous, Underconfident, Not knowing what to say, Not looking my best (as I was caught off guard when Priyata asked me to come down immediately) – this was MYSELF at that point of time..so would being myself help? Passing through these wonderfully comfortable thoughts, I arrived at Shanoo’s building!

I rang the door bell and Shanoo opened the door. She welcomed me with a smile and asked me to come in. I could see Priyata and another lady standing at a distance. I took off my shoes and proceeded to the dining table where she offered me a seat and sat opposite me. On my way to the table I said, “Thank you so much for agreeing to meet me!”. I was sweating from the bike ride in the hot sun and the heat of the situation of course. She came right to the point – “So Dilip, tell me.” I went blank but had to say something…So I went – “There is no perfect way of saying this so I will just say it the way I feel. I am a good actor and a good dancer. I am looking for work in films.” Just when I got some clarity of thought on what I will say next, she interrupted. She said, “What have you done?”. I said, “I have been doing theatre for the past 3 years.”

“Ok. Are you looking only for lead roles?” she asked.

I interpreted this question as “do you want to become a lead actor?” and replied “Yes!”. This was my goof-up I think because what followed was not very good. Shanoo asked me why I want to look only for leads. When I replied that it means more work, more money and a chance to showcase both my acting and dancing talent, she said a Boman Irani makes more money and does more work than many of the lead actors. I wanted to argue, explain, take a stand but thought it would be rude and it will mess up my own case. She then said what I thought should have been my answer – “You should take whatever comes your way and then if some director thinks you are good for a lead, he will cast you.” This was something that I knew. I knew that I would have to start small and work my way up. I don’t know why I said “Yes” when she asked if I was looking ONLY for lead roles. So when she said all this, I just agreed with her and said, I want to audition for anything that I am fit for and that my AIM is to play lead roles but I do not mind starting with whatever that comes my way. She then said, “Well, right now I am looking for people between 17 and 21 for Yash Raj, that’s what the market demands today and you have already crossed that age…However, I also keep getting other projects to cast and I will see if something comes up for you.” She then said what most people say to end a conversation like this – what Shahid said, what Honey Trehan said – “I have your pictures, I will let you know if something comes up.”

I realized that she wanted to end the meeting and probably wants me to leave. I felt bad that I had almost messed up this entire opportunity of meeting one of the most prominent casting directors of the country by coming across as a confused guy who doesn’t know what he really wants. But before I left, I wanted to say something more. So I went – “Thanks a lot! See, I am 25 years old and I really want to make a career in this industry. If I have to do something good, I MUST start now. I am confident that if I get a start, I will work things out and move up! So please let me know if there is anything for me.” This time, when I looked at her, I knew she was listening carefully and understanding what I mean .

She said, “Don’t worry. I will definitely let you know. Right now, I am going to be busy with the YRF 17-21 year-old casting for a while..almost 3 months..but you can call Priyata every 2 months and follow-up in case you do not hear from me. ” When she said this, I felt that it almost meant that I am NOT going to hear from her and that I need to follow up like several other aspiring actors do. I felt that I had lost an opportunity. May be I was expecting too much from the meeting. What else could come out of it? It was silly of me to think that Shanoo might immediately cast me for something. I was disappointed that I could not leave a mark and the impression I left on her was not great! I put on my shoes, thanked her once again and left the building. As I approached my bike, I said to myself – this was round 1!! I knew that I would need to repeat this entire process once again 3 months later. Not just with Shanoo, but also with other casting directors, and directors and producers too! I was lucky that Shanoo was so sweet and nice to me, others might not be! I could see in her eyes that she wanted to help me and everything she was saying was genuine advice! It was me who expected too much and goofed up. Anyway, meetings might not always go as planned but I would need to learn from them and be better in the ones that come!

Right now, I am carrying on with the hope that I do actually hear from Shanoo some day…

Regards..

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My new portfolio…

After my meeting with Honey Trehan, I decided that I need some normal pictures of me..just the way I look! No make-up, no studio lights! It is then that I took Nikhil’s idea of doing a photo shoot with his camera seriously! Nikhil is my Manager at work who has been a pillar of support both at work and in my personal life. He volunteered to do my photo shoot but the busy man that he is, he could not be there for the shoot. It was then that my dear friend Swapna or Swapz as we fondly call her came to my rescue like an angel! I had always considered myself lucky to be blessed with many friends who were photography enthusiasts – Nikhil, Rakesh, Chaitanya, Sidd, Mehul, Rohit, Saalim!! However, I was not aware of Swapna’s skills as a photographer. I always knew that she was this extremely talented, very artistic, cute, graceful girl whom everybody loved. She was known for kicking guys and stepping on people’s shoes (white, new shoes!!!)…for her girly “aaaawwwwwwwwww”s and “waayyyyyyssssssssssssssttttttttee”s and “duummmddduuuummmm”s… Nevertheless, everyone was (and is, and will be) fond of her for her bubbly personality and how she brought life into anything and everything! But photography?!? I was surprised when Nikhil said, “Swapna can click really good pics..she will shoot”.

So off we went to the office terrace and she started clicking away to glory…She showed me some of the pics and I loved them. However, I had no idea how the overall shoot was going. We shot for two evenings. Nikhil paid us a visit every now and then. He gave some weird ideas for clicking pictures. We tried them and they sucked (actually it was me who sucked in those ideas ;)). Swapna tried everything. At one point, she was leaning backward clicking pictures and kept on going back till she fell flat on her back! 🙂

I was really hoping that all this effort gives us something good. And when I finally took the camera’s memory card home and checked it on my laptop, I was amazed. Swapna had done a brilliant job..she had made ME look good! I really have no idea how she managed to do that but she did. Trust me, it is a very difficult task to get me to like my pictures. However, I must say that some of these pictures have made me feel – “This is how I want to look on the big screen!”.

Before this photo shoot, I had planned to go for a professional portfolio by a leading Film photographer. It would have cost me nothing less than a lakh. I have no idea how I would have arranged for that kind of money. Nikhil and Swapna’s efforts have saved me not just this huge amount of money but a lot of other troubles. They have proved my belief about friendship absolutely right! I have always believed that he who has true friends has nothing to worry about in life! Friends are your biggest back-up, your support system when everything else in life screws you up! I have been blessed with some unbelievably wonderful friends who have done a lot for me. I have no idea how I will repay them. Perhaps the best gift I can give them is achieving my goal and telling them that all that they did for me was worth it!! I now feel like working harder…moving faster…jumping higher…for my friends!

Thank you Swapz…and thank you all who have stuck around!! I love you all…

Posting some of the pics here:

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Two more attempts…

I knew that catching hold of people in the gym and talking to them about work is going to back-fire some day. Not everyone would want to be intruded in their personal space. After all, the gym is a place for a person to work out and relax and not be disturbed about work. I was always aware of this but still wanted to take my chances. It was obvious that someone would give me a taste of the bitter truth some day. And it happened to be the ace director Sudhir Mishra!

I walked up to him in the lounge next to our gym where he was having a drink after his workout. He is one of those guys who have a strong, intimidating personality. It’s not easy to walk up to him and start talking. I had seen several guys in the gym saying “Hello sir” while he walked like a tiger in the gym sometimes acknowledging them and sometimes not. He is a tall man, not very fair but when I saw him, he had a glow on his face and was sweating from the workout! Strands of grey hair falling on his forehead!

“Excuse me Sir, may I speak with you for 30 seconds if you do not mind”, I asked.

“Well, I do mind being approached in the gym. It’s my personal space and I do not like to be disturbed”, he said.

I went blank for a second but I did have something to say – “I understand Sir, that is why I wanted to first take your permission before I started speaking”.

“Anyway, Go on..” he said. I decided to keep it very short this time – “I am a theatre actor and I have been performing for 3 years. I am looking for work in films and I want just 1 chance to audition for anything that you are working on.” I was nervous, and sweating and really scared. I wanted to make the best of this opportunity becasue it is not very easy to get to talk to a director as huge as Sudhir Mishra. He said exactly what I expected him to –

“Well, I am not doing anything right now. I don’t even know when or what I am going to do next. That’s not how I work. Whenever I am doing something new, I’ll post it on Facebook. You can have a look.”

I had no idea what to say next. To be honest, I was in a situation where I wanted to talk more and at the same time, just run away from there. So, I said “Thank you Sir” and left the lounge to proceed to my workout.

My next meeting was the next day (12th April) with Honey Trehan. Honey is a casting director who casts for major Bollywood (Hi-Fi, Hindi film Industry, Mumbai film industry, whatever you may want to call it!) films. His IMDB profile suggests that he has cast for almost all of Vishal Bharadwaj’s projects. I had sent him my pictures but having lost all hope that my pictures can get me any work, I had started approaching casting directors so that they can see me personally and let me know if I am fit for something they are casting for. I waited for Honey at the office he had called me to. I had asked him only for a couple of minutes and he had obliged.

He came out of the editing room for a smoke break and that’s when he met me. “Yes Dilip, tell me”, he said. Honey looked like a chilled-out guy but someone who would prefer things to be to the point. The way he greeted me and walked out with me to the smoking area for the little chat gave me a heads up about him and how I should talk. It was 2.15 pm. I told him about myself and that I wanted him to see and know me personally so that whenever an opportunity that I am fit for comes by, he can let me know. “I’ll forget all this by 4 today”, he said matter-of-factly!

Once again, I was stunned. I did not know what to say. What I really felt like saying was – “If you are going to forget me by 4, then I don’t deserve to be in films anyways!”. What I did say was – “Okay, so what should I do for you to remember me? A better portfolio?”  He said, “I don’t need a portfolio. Just normal pictures of the way you look right now. That’s it!”. “Okay, is there anything you are casting for right now?”, I asked. “Right now, I need just one man – Milkha Singh! For Mehra..”, he said suggesting that he was looking for a guy to play Milkha Singh in Rakeysh Mehra’s next film. “Ok, I will send you my pictures. Please let me know if something comes up for me”, I said. We shook hands and I took off. He was done with his cigarette and went back inside.

These two meetings did not go as well as I wanted them too. I would have loved to get some work out of these. However, it was never going to be so easy. Someone had to give me a heads up saying “It’s a tough life!”. That’s not going to stop me though. I am on the lookout for my next director/casting director. Meanwhile, the gym is ON with the hope that it will lead me to a better portfolio!

Till the next one then…

Love and Regards…

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Introduction at Yash Raj Films…

I walked into the casting leg of Yash Raj films after office yesterday. It is right above Anupam Kher’s acting school at Santacruz West. On my way up, I crossed the acting school aptly named ‘Actor Prepares’. Impressive collection of newspaper articles and portraits of films and actors on the hallway I must say! Anyway, there was no time for acting schools now. It was time to work!

When I reached the 3rd floor, I saw a few people waiting outside a room. They had lined up as if they were waiting for their turn for an audition going on inside the room. So I understood that I was at the right place. There was hardly anyone there – Just a few guys waiting for an audition, a peon and an assistant. However, this was not the main Yash Raj office. This was just meant for casting and so would only be visited by aspiring actors (and not clients!). So, there wasn’t really a need to spend much on this one. Smart work by YRF I thought! A notice on the audition room door said – “Email 2 pictures with name and number in Subject to Shanoo”. Shanoo is the casting director of YRF whom I had once spoken with over the phone. I had requested her for her time to meet her but she said she was too busy and I should just send my pictures. And as it always happens, I did not get a call back. I was hoping to see her this time but I was told she wasn’t in and someone else (Parag) was conducting auditions today.

I caught hold of the peon and told him that I had come to drop my pictures. He said I should email them as leaving them at the office would only mean that they will go to the bin! I requested him to let me meet one of the casting directors or anyone available in office. He introduced me to Sushant who was another assistant to Shanoo like Parag. I explained to Sushant what I needed and he turned out to be a very helpful guy! He made me wait to meet Parag who later told me that they will shoot my introduction and let me know whenever there is something suitable for me. I immediately prepared a quick 3-4 line intro. I wanted this to be really good as I thought this could be my entry into Yash Raj Films! However, when my turn came, Sushant told me that I shouldn’t say my own intro and should just answer the questions he asks me while he will shoot me on camera.

The questions were pretty simple ones – Name? Age? Favourite Actor? Actress? Film? Director you would like to work with? And finally, please look at the camera and smile! I guess all they wanted to see was if a person is camera friendly, can talk, and how he/she looks on camera under lights. I thought I did OK but I could do and look much better. I asked Sushant if he can also record me saying what I have prepared but he refused. Later, we had a 5-minute chat on what I should do to meet directors/assistants, whether I should get a good portfolio done, whether it is important to have a good physique for all actors, etc. Once again, I was being told how impossible it is to meet a director or an assistant to ask them for work! I requested him to pass my introduction tape on to Shanoo, thanked him for being so helpful, and left the office.

Once again, I am hoping that I get a call from Shanoo, Aditya or Yashji some day! If not, I’ll be on the look-out for directors, producers, may be Yashji himself to tell him why he should launch me! 🙂

Love…

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Encounter with Shahid…

I had been observing Shahid for a few days in the gym. He came across as a very humble and cool guy, no-nonsense of course. He worked out with his trainer for an hour or so everyday and left without talking much to people around. As you guys know by now, I am an ardent follower of Amitji’s blog. I had been reading a lot about how Amitji was helped by those who were STARS when he was a nobody. The likes of Shashi Kapoor, Mehmood are hugely responsible for getting Amitji started in this industry! I decided to take my chance with Shahid!

I waited in the locker room for him to finish his workout. It was almost time for him to arrive when I got conscious of the people watching me sitting next to the loo doing nothing for almost half an hour. So, I decided to wait outside the gym on the stairs. There is a short passage from the gym door to the elevator which is an ideal place to catch someone who is leaving. Shahid came at around 10.45pm. And I said to him, finally, what I had been rehearsing for two days –

“May I speak with you for 30 seconds please?”

Shahid being his cool self said “Yes man, tell me!”

“My name is Dilip Merala. I have done theatre production work for 3 years and then acted in 7 plays for another 2 years. I do not have any work in the film industry nor do I know anyone here. I have been reading Amitji’s blog and I know how he was helped by STARS when he was starting out. All I need is an initial push and I swear I’ll work my way up. Can you please help me in any way possible?”

A 2-second pause followed by Shahid thoughtfully scratching his chin..

“I will be very grateful to you for any help and will never forget what you do for me. I promise I’ll make you very proud! I am a good actor and a good dancer.. I can show you right now..”

“No, no..don’t!” he said..

“Look, I don’t cast for my films. The best I can do is that if you have your pictures, I can drop them off at Production houses”. I could not digest this – The superstar Shahid dropping pictures of a random guy from the gym at Production houses?!? So I said – “No, no..I’ll do all of that. The thing is I need to meet directors and tell them what I am capable of. If you can get me to meet someone, I can talk to them like I did to you and show them what I can do. ” He nodded and said, “OK. Leave your number with my assistant. I’ll make sure that you get to meet the director of the next project I work on!”. He looked at his assistant and signalled to him to take my number. The assistant gave me his cell phone and asked to save it myself. After this, we took the elevator – Shahid, his assistant, a couple of others from the gym and me. When we reached the parking lot, I was amazed to see that (for the first time) Shahid’s car was parked right next to my bike. Once again I said “Thanks a lot Shahid. I will be grateful for any help!”. “No worries man. All the best!”, he said. He then started talking to his assistants about the next place they were headed to. I watched him while he got into the car. His assistant was still standing next to me, an old man in his fifties I guess. I said to him, “Uncle, please woh number unko de dena (please pass on my number to him)”. He said he will. Off they went while I was still watching his huge black Range Rover cruise by.

I suddenly felt like I had so much more to say. I also felt that all was lost because this is where things always get stuck up! Leave your pictures, leave your number, we’ll see what can be done..etc. Why would Shahid remember me out of the thousands of people he meets? Would he? Even if he does, would he actually help me out when the time comes? Why didn’t I start the conversation with a compliment or by saying that I liked his work? But I had just 30 seconds and there was no time for bull shit. I also thought it would have come across as trying to butter him up. I just said what I really REALLY wanted to say from the bottom of my heart!

I had to start somewhere. I had to take my chance, and I did. Whether Shahid helps me in the future or not is to be seen. The truth is – I am already grateful to him. He heard me out very peacefully like a good listener. He is a huge motivation at the gym and speaking with him has also given me some confidence to speak with more people – directors, producers, those who matter! In fact, I have decided to start approaching production houses with my pictures from today itself. I do not have a great portfolio but I cannot wait. I need to get going with whatever I have! And I really hope Shahid does do something for me in the time to come!

I come face to face with Shahid everyday at the gym. I wonder how I will face him today..just a smile may be! 🙂

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My first big banner audition…

How often does an aspiring actor get a call from a “big banner”? I was fortunate enough to get mine! The 23rd of March, 2011 – one more day that I will never forget; A day that I will remember no matter where this journey leads me to! This was the day when I gave my first big banner audition. It was for Dharma Productions – the same production house that made excellent and hugely successful films like Agneepath (Amitji), Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (SRK, Kajol, Rani), Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham (Amitji, Hrithik, SRK, Jayaji, Kajol, Kareena)!!

I was walking on the streets of Lokhandwala shopping for some daily stuff when I got a call from Varun, the guy casting for this little scene in the next Dharma film. He got my number from one of the casting directors I had sent my pictures to a while ago. He told me that he wants to test me for a very small scene in the next Dharma film where I am supposed to be giving an office presentation. I immediately understood that it is for one of those blink-and-you’ll -miss parts in the film. However, it was for Dharma and I wouldn’t mind starting small I thought! So, I told him that I will be there the next day. I thought that even if I do not get anything, I will at least get a chance to go to the Dharma Productions office and drop my pictures and Resume there. This is when I realized that I had no hard copies of my pictures, they were all circulated. So I quickly ordered a few prints to be delivered the next day.

I could hardly sleep that night. I kept thinking about different things – how big would this role be? Would I get it? If I do, is it what I really want to do? Shouldn’t I be looking for something bigger? What if I get typecast? But I had to start somewhere. So, I decided that I will be going no matter what! The next day, I sent a text message to my manager saying I am unwell! I did tell him later that I lied (coz I knew he would read this post anyway!). I borrowed a formal belt from one of my flatmates (Rahul) and formal shoes from another (Karthik). I wore my own formal shirt and trousers (I am glad I had something at least!). I was supposed to be there by 1.30pm. I was getting late due to the traffic so I called Varun and he told me that it would be absolutely fine if I come by 2. So there I was, at 2pm, at the Dharma Productions office! The 2nd floor was occupied by Dharma. I walked into one of the rooms which had a beautiful, framed picture of Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Someone guided me that I was in the wrong room and auditions were happening next door. I went there and found Varun busy with a couple of girls for their auditions. One of the girls was rehearsing the lines Kareena spoke in K3G. Another guy was rehearsing Aamir’s speech on books from 3 Idiots. I took a seat and waited for Varun to give me my bit to rehearse.

Varun returned with a sheet that had the scene I was to enact. It had precisely two lines (wouldn’t like to disclose what they were as the movie is not out yet). Well, I hadn’t expected anything more. I memorised those lines and figured out how I will perform the scene. I waited for my turn for about an hour. While I was waiting, I really enjoyed watching the girl doing the Kareena bit. Although she was doing it really well, my concern was that she was doing it just like Kareena. Anyway, I really hope that she got through!

My turn came, I walked in, and delivered in front of the camera. Varun wasn’t happy with the first few takes. He wasn’t quite getting from me what he wanted. It took 5 takes for me to get it right (as Varun needed).  All of this took just about 3-4 minutes. The audition was over and I felt good to have at least turned up and tried for the role no matter what the outcome would be. I told Varun that I would appreciate if he lets me know whenever there is anything that I am fit for. About this one, he said he’ll let me know by the end of the week. I left my pictures with my name and number at the reception. I tried asking Varun and the other security guys if there was a way I could meet Karan Johar for just 2 minutes. They said it was impossible (as expected) and that if I came back some other day, I could meet one of his assistants. I left the Dharma office with the hope that I will return some day, for a bigger role, and then some other day, as a Star! My picture will be up on those walls too!

I haven’t heard from Varun yet but I believe that whatever happens, happens for the best! If I do hear from him, I will do the little part with all my sincerity and the hope that I get noticed. If I do not hear from him on this one, I will try to get my hands on something bigger while I keep trying to meet other directors and casting directors!

Till the next one then..

 

Love and Regards..